Geez, wow, it’s already been since March since we updated the site.  For that, we apologize.  We were under the impression since Nintendo was so far ahead of everyone, that all we had to do is play the games and relax. Now that people have been tricked into the vile piece of boredom known as Halo 3 and realize it was all just hype, they grasp in the darkness for something more. (Over $100 for the beheaded spaceman edition, lol!)  That something is the Nintendo Wii, which is still sold out everywhere for an entire year after its launch.  OMGWTFBBQ, indeed.   So suck it up, get in line… get yourself a Wii.
We’ve got some great stuff coming up soon.   Tune in soon for some great head to head stories between the best Wii games and best everything else.

The following are some important tips I learned from the Cooking MILF in Cooking Mama: Cook Off for the Wii.

1. The faster you crank your meat grinder, the better.

2. Popcorn is impossible to make, don’t even try.

3. Try not to go too crazy on the slicing/cutting games when someone’s about to walk in the room. It looks more like you’re playing Toast.

4. Do not hit your own hand with a hammer.

5. The Japanese are NUTS! (they apparently eat Spaghetti with Squid Ink!)

6. Don’t stir too hard, or your meal will end up on Cooking MILF’s head!

7. Do not play Cooking Mama on an empty stomach, you’ll try to eat your TV.

8. The Wii Remote does not actually make a good kitchen utensil. There’s no way it’s chopping onions.

9. Even when Cooking MILF’s eyes are on fire, she still loves you.

10. Meatloaf is better when you add your sausage to it.

What do you get when you take monkeys out of the Monkey Balls? That’s right! Balls! Kororinpa: Marble Mania is a game about monkey balls with no monkeys… just the balls. Or more specifically, marbles. But if you’re a big fan of the monkey ball gameplay, you should feel right at home here. Generally the play is similar, where you just need to tilt the board around as you guide your monkey-less monkey ball to a series of pick-ups and the goal.

However, there is an interesting design difference that changes the level dynamics quite a bit. This difference is in the degree that you can tilt the world. This might not seem like a big thing, but this gives you some really fun opportunities for completing turning the world over and sending the ball flying, while you tip the world back to catch it on another part of the map. This gives some of the things you do more of a trickshot feel, and really dials up the skill you need to get some of the special bonuses or top times in each level.

Kororinpa Marble Mania also features a two-player mode, which can astonishingly be played with only one remote+nunchuck set. Player one will get to tip the remote to move his board, and player two will get to tilt the nunchuck to move her board. Or, if you’re really hardcore.. you could play both player’s games at once, one with each hand. Could they have made this game for other systems with a control pad/stick, sure… would it be even close to as fun? No! Flinging the marbles around with the tilt mechanism makes all the difference.

Even without monkeys, balls can still be fun!

Of course, one of the best things about the Wii controller are when you get to act out the gestures as you see them on screen. Cooking Mama is full of this type of control, and is both extremely fun and challenging. Each level is one “recipe” where you must complete several mini-game tasks to prep and cook the food. If you need to chop onions it feels like you’re chopping onions, if you need to flip a burger in a frying pan, it again really feels like you’re moving the pan back and forth.

But, Cooking Mama isn’t just a cake walk. (get it? cake?) If you want to do well at these events, you’ll really need to practice. Some of the mini-games, especiallty the peeling game, are really tricky to get right. However, if you want gold medals on these levels, you need to do it all. Even making popcorn is a challenge in Cooking Mama. This game walks right in between a game that’s clever and easy enough for anyone to understand, but also takes some real dedication for the hardcore player to get everything.

The Wii version of Cooking Mama also features a head-to-head mode, which you can play against the computer or against a second player. It’s like having the home version of Iron Chef, right in your living room. Get chopping, stirring, shaking, slicing, rolling and frying.. because it’s a ton of fun.

Mine’s at 28, not too bad… I’m sure it’ll be lower tomorrow.  What’s yours?

As one of the first Wii games shown, unreal expectations were quickly stuck to Red Steel. It promised to be one of the first action games to showcase the Wii’s new controller for both shooting and sword fighting, two of the most obvious applications of the new controls. The good news is that it’s not as bad as most reviews would have you believe, but the bad news is that it doesn’t live up to the lofty expectations cast on it by the “media.”

Once you get yourself adjusted to the Wii theory of aiming, shooting in Red Steel should feel comfortable fast. The sword swinging isn’t quite as satisfying, as it feels more like you’re trying to outwit a game mechanic instead of actually meeting blade to blade.

In a game called RED Steel, what do you suppose the RED refers to? Possibly the color of blood as you slice through the flesh of Yakuza? Well, there’s unfortunately no blood in RED Steel as the title would suggest.

Aside from these small points, the game IS actually quite a lot of fun. The environments look good, there’s plenty of stuff to shoot and destroy and you can even hold your gun like one of those rap video thugs, which your mom loves, just by twisting your wrist a bit. I’ve seen some complaints of the game getting repetitive, but that complaint could be flung at any game if you sit in your no-life cubicle playing the same game until it ends. I find Red Steel is fun in small doses. Clip off a few checkpoints, then go about your life for a while. I find it’s still fun when I get back.

I’ve found that Wii Sports is a great energy boost for the rest of the work day.  Get out of bed and step up to the plate!   Take a crack at the “Training” modes and see how many home runs you can hit, or take a little batting practice and hit ball after ball.   But, dammit… get off your stupid couch!   Don’t play like these lazy guys:

This news post goes out to everyone that stood in line and risked their own personal safety to obtain a PS3. If you weren’t robbed, mugged, beat up or shot at, you got home to find out the games suck too. Don’t let PS3 get you down, remember there’s a Wii out now… and it’s so much fun. When you get yours, post a picture of your Mii and show us what you kinda look like!

After spending nearly all weekend with the Wii, the launch jitters are still not gone.  This has been the most exciting launch since the original NES.  We’re finally playing a new kind of game.  Also, if you live with your girlfriend like me, you know how important fun 2 player games are.  We’ve been having a blast with Wii Sports: Bowling, Wii Sports: Tennis, Wii Sports: Golf, Tony Hawk’s Downhill Jam and Excite Truck.  We’re still short a nunchuck because the world sucked them right out of stores! So still haven’t tried multiplayer on stuff like Red Steel or Rayman yet.   But seriously, we can’t get enough.. More later!